The number one secret for getting what you want.
No matter whether your hero is Oprah, Steve Jobs or Justin Bieber, all successful people have one in thing in common—they are obsessed. They eat, breathe and sleep whatever they’re into.
And despite the ego-crushing and heartbreaking experiences they inevitably face, they keep on marching on to what they believe to be the promised land. They keep pouring their heart and soul into publishing that novel, building their cutting-edge business, or trying to bring forth God’s most precious gift—a baby.
These people are not deterred when they can’t get a venture capitalist to finance their brilliant innovations.
These people won’t let 65 rejections from agents stop them from shopping for another when it comes to getting what they believe to be most amazing piece of fiction since The Firm (just kidding!) published.
These young woman go for procedure X, procedure Y, spirulina shakes, aromatherapy, acupuncture—you name it—for years to have a baby.
These folks are not short on willpower.
And if you ask them how they got it, they’d tell you “I lead with my foot.”
They know that action precedes motivation in the face of challenges. They’d tell you when you get knocked down, get back up and try another angle. Because they know that you readily accept the rejections and keep on pressing….somewhere else. They tell Epictetus to bug off with his “life is fate” talk. They believe if they build people will come.
And while many of us believe you only need faith the size of a grain of mustard seed, these folks will tell you you need faith the size of a watermelon. “Never give up, don’t stop believing in your dream” is their mantra and will be yours, too, if you hang out with them enough.
I know you asked me to weigh in on this, but I had to defer to these people because they have a few things that I don’t. They don’t get hijacked by their amygdalas (your brain’s fear and rage center) as easily as I do, so they don’t obsess and catastrophize about the what ifs.
They also have a healthier belief about competition than I do. These folks welcome competition believing that competition makes them better rather setting the stage for them to “get beat.” They don’t bail on the run when it becomes a race and start walking (like I do).
And probably the biggest difference between me and these folks is they believe in the power of willpower in a way that I just don’t buy into. They are dispositionalists; that is, they attribute their success to their own actions and desires versus situational factors like being at the right place at the right time or knowing the right person who knows the right person, or, most importantly, having the parents that imparted serious DNA smarts and modeled good life skills.
I’m a situationalist to a fault. I believe that there are 10,000 more factors than the things you do that account for success. I believe that no matter how hard you put—or wanna put—the pedal to the metal to get where you wanna go—rain, sleet, snow or tsunami—Mother Nature decides your ETA for you.
So here’s what I think: Somewhere in between the willpower camp and the Mother Nature camp is where you ought to aim.
I hope whatever you’ve got up your sleeve is something that makes your heart sing or you know for sure will make somebody’s heart sing. Putting the pedal to the metal for something or someone you love is without a doubt the best start in this getting the most out of life, no matter what camp you’re in.
Speaking of putting the pedal to the metal, remember I’m always willing to use the high-test fuel when it involves YOU. Get in touch and we’ll get things going.